Lessons from My Father - Cobus Oelofse

When I reflect on the lessons my father taught me, I realise they were never delivered through dramatic sit-downs. They were subtle – consistency, habits, a raised eyebrow, or silence that said more than words.

The first was respect. I remember apologising to an elderly man for not calling him “oom”. That quintessential Afrikaans respect, sometimes misunderstood, shaped how I treat people, family, elders, and myself. Decency isn’t a trend.

My father believed in hard work and honesty: do your job properly, tell the truth, and life will meet you halfway. I sometimes question the commercial value of those principles, but I’m not sure which I’d sacrifice. I hope my daughter learns that character still matters, irrespective of the algorithm.

I’ve come to appreciate his loyalty to my mother; no grand gestures, just a steady, consistent presence. He cared deeply about his community, but questioned leadership, showing commitment with independence.

We weren’t wealthy, so we learned to make a plan. If something broke, he fixed it. If there was no tool, he made one.

If I had to summarise his lessons: respect people, work hard, stay honest, be loyal where it counts, think independently, solve problems, care for your community, and, if all else fails, make a plan.